If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
