So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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