I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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