As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
