she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize