I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
