In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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