Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize