listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
