haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
