It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
