the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
