If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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