i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
