She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
