Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
