it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
