go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
