i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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