Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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