Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
