Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
