Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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