I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
