Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
