Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
