We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
