My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize