Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
