I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just found a bag of teeth...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
