So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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