There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
