nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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