Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
