If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
