and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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