so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
