So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The air was thick with penises
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
