Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
