Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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