I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
