What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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