Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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