Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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