i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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