It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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