Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
