It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There are leaves in my underwear?
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