Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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