I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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