In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
