If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize