I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
