And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
