id be glad to
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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