I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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