youre lurking in front of me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
