you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
