you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
