I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
