I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
