I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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