Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
