I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
