he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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