i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
