People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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