My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
