He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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