I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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