I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
